Category: Email Forwards

Difference in making Men & Women Happy


How to keep a woman happy…. Priceless!

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
14. A sexologist
15. A gynaecologist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
44. Compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. Give her compliments regularly
46. Love shopping
47. Be honest
48. Be very rich
49. Not stress her out
50. Not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. Give clots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

  • birthdays
  • anniversaries
  • arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Leave him alone

Burnt Biscuits


When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burned biscuits.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. And besides – a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!”

You know, life is full of imperfect things… and imperfect people. I’m not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.  What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults – and choosing to celebrate each others differences – is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy,growing, and lasting relationship.

That’s my wish for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the difficult parts of your life and enjoy them all. Because in the end, you are the only One who will be able to ensure that a burned biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker! This could extended to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket – keep it in your own.”So. please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine!

And feel free to pass this along to folks who have enriched your life… I just did. Life is too short to wake up with regrets. Love the people who treat you right and forget about the ones who don’t !

2G Spectrum Scam


Q. What is the 2G Spectrum Scam?

In 2008, the union government awarded pan India licenses and second generation telecom spectrum to 9 companies in 122 circles for offering mobile telephony services. These licenses were awarded in an arbitrary and non-transparent manner for a paltry sum of ` 1658 crores, which was the price discovered in 2001, when the teledensity was very low.

Q. Who are allegedly involved in the scam?

  • Telecom Minister A.Raja
  • Corporate Houses
  • Government Officials
  • Corporate Lobbyists
  • Media Houses

Q. What is the amount of scam involved?

Based on the subsequent auction of airwaves for third generation (3G) services, which fetched nearly Rs. 63,000 crores, and that for broadband access, which fetched over Rs. 35,700 crores, the notional loss to the exchequer due to under pricing of 2G spectrum was estimated by the CAG to be a whopping Rs. 1,76,000 crores !!

Q. What does Rs 1.76 lakh crore mean to our nation?

  • 4 Times the money used to build the golden quadrilateral connecting delhi, mumbai, chennai, kolkata – to improve our road connectivity and trigger economic growth.
  • 30 lakh RTC buses – Could be a big boost for our defunct public transport.
  • 11 crore buffaloes – Could improve our dairy sector
  • 1868 Nagarjunsagar dams – Could vastly improve irrigation sector (No more need for loan waivers)
  • 23 Shamshabad airports – Could improve the aviation sector big time.
  • 25 Lakh Nursing homes – Could be a big boost of our disastrous health sector (India remains home to one-third of the world’s undernourished children)
  • 30 Lakhs Schools – Can go a long way in improving our literacy rate – 65%
  • 35 Crore Computers – Could establish India as the IT capital of the world
  • 504 Fighter Jets – Could strengthen our defense system in a big way.

Q. Can this money be recovered?

Yes. Under Section 23 and 24 of the Indian Contracts Act 1872, a contract becomes void if it is tainted with corruption. The government can cancel the current licenses and recover the lost money by fresh allocation of 2G spectrum through international competitive bidding after laying down transparent eligibility criteria in consultation with TRAI (Telecom Regulatory Authority of India).

Q. Did we ever recover such scam money previously?

Yes. In 2007, the Indian Army did not hesitate to scrap a $600 million-worth deal for 197 helicopters with Eurocopter, the world’s largest maker of civil and military helicopters (and a subsidiary of EADS, the European defence and aerospace group), following the Central Vigilance Commission (CVC)’s criticism of the bidding process and illegal use of middlemen, violative of the existing policy of prohibiting middlemen in military deals. The Army subsequently went in for a fresh and open bidding process.

Q. Do we have enough evidence to prove the scam?

There were many events leading to the day when the licenses were given…

  • TRAI had recommended auctioning of spectrum at market rates.
  • Raja ignored advice of TRAI, Law Ministry, Finance Ministry and even the PMO.
  • Licenses issued on a first-come-first-served basis
  • Cut-off date for applications advanced by a week
  • Rules changed after the game had begun.
  • One more clinching evidence is that the bidders were asked to give a bank guarantee of 1600 cr, and the time given to satisfy the clause – 45 mins. Its impossible for even the biggest of the corporate houses to arrange for such a huge money in just 45 mins. But, the successful bidders were able to provide the bank guarantee. If they did not had prior knowledge about the clause, how can they arrange for it? This proves clear favoritism.

Q. What should the government do?

As we discussed before, the immediate steps should be to recover the scam money by canceling the licenses and issue new licenses international competitive bidding. But there should be some long term measures to eradicate the menace of corruption from our country. A JPC or PAC as demanded by the opposition will not do any good .

  • Enact a comprehensive anti-corruption law and create an Independent Anti-Corruption Commission (IACC). IACC set up in Hong Kong in 1974 reduced corruption within a few years. When it was first set up, wags referred to the ICAC as “I can accept cash”. However, the ICAC has worked, precisely because it is independent.
  • Enact a Windfall Profits Tax law (on the lines of the UK law 1997), which will provide for stiff taxation of windfall profits earned by corporates in the exploitation of natural resources either because of monopoly or a change in the global economic environment. The companies that cornered the 2G spectrum licenses through questionable means and sold them within weeks for astronomical sums should be subjected to the proposed windfall profits tax. Such a law will also help tax the abnormal profits made in the mining and other sectors.
  • Enact a False Claims Act (on the lines of the U.S. law). If the exchequer incurs any loss because of fraud or misrepresentation or violation of the due process as determined by an independent, competent authority, the guilty will have to pay a civil penalty equivalent to three to five times the loss sustained. The U.S. Government has collected over $24 billion from corporates under this Act.

Q. How can you help to stop this scam?

There are many ways you can help in recovering this scam..

  • Sign online petition to Prime Minister of India (You took the pain to read this mail, spare 30 more secs and this is the least you can do for the future of our country)
  • Email to Prime Minister of India ( manmohan@sansad.nic.in This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it ; pmosb@nic.in This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it )
  • Post a card to Prime Minister of India (The Prime Minister of India,
    PMO Building, South Block,
    Raisina Hill, New Delhi – 110101)
  • Send one rupee money order to Prime Minister of India. The Money Order will cost Rs.2.25 (Re.1 + Re.1 as MO fee and Rs.0.25 for the MO form), and has the added advantage of someone in PMO having to acknowledge it.
  • Join & Spread awareness about ‘Cancel 2G Spectrum Licenses’ Campaign on Facebook, Twitter and Orkut communities.
  • Get involved in the various anti-corruption campaigns by any of the NGO within your reach.

Position or Performance?


A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven’s Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, nattily dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leatherjacket & jeans.

God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether toadmit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not?

The guy replies: I am Pandi, Auto driver from Chennai !

God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi: Please take this silkenrobe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Now it is the priest’s turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a boomingvoice: I am Pope’s Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church forthe last 40 years.

God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

‘Just a minute,’ says the agonized Priest. ‘How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who’s spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has tomake do with a Cotton robe?

”Results my friend, results,’ shrugs God.’While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED’.

Moral of the story;

It’s PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimatelycounts.

Need & Greed


A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.

A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

“Not very long.” they answered in unison.

“Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

“But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

“We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children,and take siestas with our wives.

In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.

We have a full life.”

The tourist interrupted,

“I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?”

“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.

Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.

You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City !

From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”

“How long would that take?”

“Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.

“And after that?”

“Afterwards? Well my friend, that’s when it gets really interesting, ” answered the tourist, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!”

“Millions? Really? And after that?” asked the fishermen.

“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”

“With all due respect sir, but that’s exactly what we are doing now. So what’s the point wasting twenty-five years?” asked the Mexicans.

And the moral of this story is:

Know where you’re going in life….
you may already be thereJ

Always Grab the First Opportunity


A young man wished to marry a farmer’s beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked at him and said, “Son, go stand out in that field. I’m going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter.”

The young man stood in the field awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out came the biggest, meanest looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through.

The barn door opened again. Unbelievable! He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one he thought. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull, he said to himself. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He threw his hands to grab….. But alas….. The bull had no tail.

Moral: Life is full of opportunities. Always grab the first one.

“PROGRESS is IMPOSSIBLE without CHANGE, and those who CANNOT CHANGE their MINDS, CANNOT CHANGE ANYTHING”

Why do we need close Friends?


For long time I’ve wondered why we need close friends? I’ve thought what i’m missing these days & I got an answer through an SMS forward…

For those honest opinions..!
To pick us from the airport at 2 am..!
To kick us at midnight on our birthday..!
To make fun of our new outfits..!
To get the latest prints of movies..!
To call at 3 am just to say goodnight..!
To listen to us when everyone else is yelling at us..!
To just walk without any reason!
For the endless treats!
To irritate us with missed calls when we are sleeping!

Misled Truth


Dying husband asks his wife: “Our 7th son always looked diffrnt frm d othr 6, did he hav a different father?”

Wife(crying): Yes

Husband: Who?

Wife: You!!;)

Thalaivar is Famous than anyone in the world!!!


Rajni Mania… Rajnikanth was bragging to Amitabh Bachan one day, “You know, I know everyone. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, Amitabh Bachan called his bluff, “OK, Rajini how about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it” Rajini said.

So Rajini and Amitabh Bachan fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door,

And sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts : “Thalaiva! Great to see you! You And your friends come right in and join me for lunch!”

…Although impressed, Amitabh Bachan is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Rajini that he thinks Rajini knowing Cruise was

Just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else” Rajini says

…”President Obama”, Amitabh Bachan quickly retorts

…”Yes”, Rajini says, “I know him.

And off they go. At the White House, Obama spots Rajini on the tour and motions him, saying, : “Rajini, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up”.

Well, Amitabh Bachan is much shaken by now, but still not totally onvinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” Amitabh Bachan replies

…”Sure!” says Rajini, “My folks are from Italy and I’ve known the Pope a long time”.

Rajini and Amitabh Bachan are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Rajini says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican.. Sure enough, half an hour later Rajini emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Rajini returns, he finds that Amitabh Bachan has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Working his way to Amitabh Bachan’s side,

Rajini asks him, “What happened?”

Amitabh Bachan looks up and says,

“I was doing fine until u and the pope came out on the balcony and the Italian man next to me said,

“Who’s that on the balcony with Rajini?”

Something about Sachin Tendulkar


“I want my son to become Sachin Tendulkar.”
-Brian Lara(WI)

”We did not lose to a team called India, we lost to a man called Sachin”
-Mark Taylor(Aus)

‘Nothing bad can happen to us if we were on a plane in India with Sachin Tendulkar on it.”
-Hashim Amla(SA)

”He can play that leg glance wit a walking stick also.”
-Waqar Younis(Pak)

”There are two kind of batsman in world. 1 Sachin Tendulkar and 1 all the others.”
-Andy Flower(ZIM)

“I have seen god. He bats at no.4 for India in tests.”
-Matthew Hayden(AUS.)

“I see myself when i see Sachin batting.”
-Don Bradman(AUS)

“Do your crime when Sachin is batting, because even God is busy watching his batting.”
-Australian Fan