Nice one!!!


A Gujarati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on Scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were having lunch

Gujju said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”

The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”

The sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”

The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Madrasi’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him dossa! I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar’s wife. ?????????

The sardaar’s wife said,

“Don’t look at me.

HE MAKES HIS OWN LUNCH!

MBA Student Vs BE Student


A MBA and a BE student go on a camping tripset up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend and says

“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

The MBA replies, “I see millions of stars

The BE asks, “What does that tell you?”

The MBA ponders for a minute

“Astronomically speaking it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?”

The BE is silent for a moment, then speaks.
“Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent

Pass this information


If you have come across any bright students coming from poor financial background who have finished their 10th standard this year (April 2009) and scored more than 80%, please ask them to contact the NGO-Prerana (supported by Infosys foundation). The NGO is conducting a written test and those who clear the test will be eligible for financial help for their further studies.

Please ask the students to contact the people mentioned below to get the form;

#580, Shubhakar, 44th cross,
1st ‘A’ Main Road,
Jayanagar 7th block Bangalore
Mob no- 9900906338(Saraswati)

Mr.Shivkumar( 9986630301) – Hanumanth nagar office
Ms.Bindu(9964534667 )-Yeshwantpur office

Even if you don’t know anyone, please pass on this info, some one might be in need of this help desperately.

Indian Money with SWISS Bank


Latest update after Swiss Bank has agreed to disclose the funds…

Our Indians’ Money – 70, 00,000 Crores Rupees In Swiss Bank

1) Yes, 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks. This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180 countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.

2) German Government has officially written to Indian Government that they (German Government) are willing to inform the details of holders of 70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them.

3) On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on German Government’s official letter to Indian Government.

4) But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry to Germany for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008.. The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian’s money.

5) This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country’s foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Center’s yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.

6) Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people? Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.

7) Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?

8) Indian people have read and have known about these facts. But the helpless people have neither time nor inclination to do anything in the matter. This is like “a new freedom struggle” and we will have to fight this.

9) This money is the result of our sweat and blood.. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought back to our country.

10) As a service to our motherland and you contribution to this struggle, please circulate this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement by email forwards, blogs etc.

Hinduism – Well Explained!!!


Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a meeting at Monterey, CA.

An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat.

It indeed was a long journey – it would take nearly seven hours!

I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible – unusual of young Americans! (Later I came to know that September 11 has changed mind-set of lot of US citizens. They suddenly turned religious, it seemed.) After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk. I told her that I am from India .

Then suddenly the girl asked: ‘What’s your faith?’

‘What?’ I didn’t understand the question.

‘I mean, what’s your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?’

‘No!’ I replied, ‘I am neither Christian nor Muslim’.

Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that.

‘Then who are you…?’

‘I am a Hindu’, I said.

She looked at me as if she is seeing a caged animal.

She could not understand what I was talking about.

A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as they are the leading religions of the world today.

But a Hindu, what? I explained to her – I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother. Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.

‘Who is your prophet?’ she asked.

‘We don’t have a prophet,’ I replied.

‘What’s your Holy Book?’

‘We don’t have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands of philosophical and sacred scriptures,’ I replied.

‘Oh, come on…at least tell me who is your God?’

‘What do you mean by that?’

‘Like we have Yahweh and Muslims have Allah – don’t you have a God?’

I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.

According to her (or anybody who doesn’t know about Hinduism), a religion need to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and concept about faith. You can’t compare Hinduism with any of the present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of god.

I tried to explain to her: ‘You can believe in one god and he can be a Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a Hindu. What’s more – you may not believe in god at all, still you can be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu.’

This sounded very crazy to her.

She couldn’t imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.

‘I don’t understand…but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?’ What can I tell to this American girl?

I said: ‘I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I still enjoy doing it sometimes.’ ‘Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?’

‘God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly.’

She thought for a while and then asked: ‘Have you ever thought of converting to any other religion?’

‘Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu allows me to think independently and objectively, without conditioning… I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice.’ I told her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no institution or authority.

‘So, you don’t believe in God?’ she wanted everything in black and white.

‘I didn’t say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis – Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita – say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this universe.’

‘Why can’t you believe in one personal God?’

‘We have a concept – abstract – not a personal god. The concept or notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers, demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don’t think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others to respect him or fear him.’ I told her that such notions are just fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all superstitions.

‘Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is your prayer then?’

‘Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,’

‘Funny,’ she laughed, ‘What does it mean?’

‘May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace, Peace.’

‘Hmm… Very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is so democratic, broad-minded and free…’ she exclaimed.

‘The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner evolution – it is as simple as that.’

‘How does anybody convert to Hinduism?’

‘Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism because there is no single authority or organization either to accept it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism.’

I told her – if you look for meaning in life, don’t look for it in religions; don’t go from one cult to another or from one guru to the next.

For a real seeker, I told her, Bible itself gives guidelines when it says ‘ Kingdom of God is within you.’ I reminded her of Christ’s teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you can find the meaning of life.

Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real.

‘Isavasyam idam sarvam’ Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here everywhere – nothing exists separate from the God, because God is present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things as God. That’s what Hinduism teaches you.

Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless and formless entity.

Ancestors of today’s Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word ‘Hindu’ and considered it as a religion.

I said: ‘Religions have become an MLM (multi-level-marketing) industry that has been trying to expand the market share by conversion. The biggest business in today’s world is Spirituality. Hinduism is no exception…’

I am a Hindu because it doesn’t condition my mind with any faith system………….

RAM.K.MENON

Indians are always smart


Three construction contractors died and went to heaven – a Pakistani, a Chinese, and an Indian. When they got there St. Peter welcomed them warmly and asked if they could do him a favor before they entered heaven.

It seems that the Pearly gates were in need of some repair, and he wanted some estimates.

The Pakistani contractor looked the job over carefully and estimated the job at $900. When asked how he came up with that figure, he said, “$300 materials, $300 labor, and $300 profit.”

St. Peter then asked the Chinese contractor for an estimate. After careful inspection he answered, “$3300 – $1100 materials, $1100 labor, and $1100 profit.”

When St. Peter ask the Indian for an estimate, he answered immediately without looking over the job at all – $2900.

Asked how he came up with that figure he answered, “Simple, $1000 for you, $1000 for me, and $900 to get the Pakistani contractor over there to do the work.”

Some Sardar Jokes!!!


Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chapels are new.

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Judge: Don’t U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don’t U have shame?

Question: “Should Women have Children after 35?”
Smart Sardar Replied: “No! 35 Children R More than Enough!!”

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.

Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: “I MISS YOU”
Sardarji replied: “I Mr YOU” !!.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: “Bombay… Bombay”
Air hostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…!!!

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call”.

 (Had never thought of it)

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

This theory will win the Physics Nobel Prize!


Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Therefore,
Human – enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that work

Look if there is any Problem! Before Working on Solution…


One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops – a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back..

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically week? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened – Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!”

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”

Management Lesson: “Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.”

Women are better financial planners!!!


Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her, but in just a few years, my father will die, and I’ll inherit $200 million.”

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.