Tag: ego management

The “Common Enemy Effect” in Founder Relationships


The common enemy effect is a powerful social phenomenon: people unite strongly when they share a common threat. We often see it in military units, sports teams, and political movements — and it’s equally true for founders and startup teams.

Phase 1: The early struggle

When founders start out, they face huge external threats:

  • Market rejection
  • Cash burn
  • Pressure to prove themselves
  • Family or societal doubt

Their common enemy is failure itself. This shared threat aligns them deeply. There’s no time for ego; decisions are fast and collective. Emotional support is strong. They feel like warriors in the same trench.

Phase 2: Early wins and success

Then comes funding, product traction, revenue, or media buzz. Suddenly, the “enemy” that held them together begins to fade.

Without that shared fight, founders start:

  • Claiming credit individually
  • Listening to “proxy teams” or external voices that inflate egos
  • Pushing personal agendas

The urgent need to survive is gone, so the cracks appear.

Phase 3: Gaps widen

When the common threat disappears:

  • Misaligned visions surface
  • Egos grow
  • Trust erodes
  • Silent power struggles begin

The same founders who once pulled all-nighters together may now fight over direction, credit, or influence.

Lessons from research

✅ Ben Horowitz (The Hard Thing About Hard Things): In crises, teams unite; in safety, they splinter.
✅ Patrick Lencioni (The Five Dysfunctions of a Team): Without a shared mission, conflict thrives.
✅ Harvard Business Review: “Shared existential threats unify.” New shared missions are critical as you grow.
✅ Social Identity Theory (Tajfel & Turner): Strong group identity often needs an external “enemy” to stay focused.

What can founders do?

  • Constantly define new “enemies” or big missions (new markets, innovations, tougher impact goals).
  • Regularly revisit and realign personal and collective visions.
  • Watch out for external influences that inflate individual egos.
  • Build a culture where mission > individuals, always.

In short

What unites founders at first? A common enemy (failure, survival).
What causes splits later? The enemy fades, egos rise.
What’s the fix? Keep creating new shared battles to stay united.