Tag: emotional distance

So… We Don’t Talk About That Anymore?


The other day, my gym trainer — who also happens to be a good friend — casually said something that got me thinking. We were chatting about life, routines, and the things no one usually says out loud.

“Ever since our son was born, my wife just isn’t interested anymore,” he said, almost like he was talking about a new diet plan that didn’t work.

No drama. No complaints. Just a fact.

And honestly, it made sense. Life changes after kids. Sleepless nights, endless responsibilities, emotional burnout — romance quietly steps aside while survival takes the front seat.

But does that mean the marriage is broken? I don’t think so.

We’re quick to judge a relationship by how “romantic” or “exciting” it looks from the outside. But in reality, many couples go through long dry patches — emotionally and physically. And often, it’s not about lack of love. It’s exhaustion, stress, changing priorities… sometimes even unspoken resentment.

What stuck with me was how normal he made it sound — no blaming, no overthinking. Just a phase that needs attention. Not counselling, not therapy right away. Maybe just a small conversation that starts with:

“Hey, I miss us.”

Sometimes, that’s all it takes. Not to fix everything, but to stop drifting further.

We all have seasons in relationships. What matters is whether we bother to notice when winter drags on too long.

From Sleepovers to Missed Calls: Growing Up and Growing Apart


We didn’t grow apart. Life just grew between us.

I come from an era when summer vacations meant stuffing myself with mangoes at cousins’ houses and fighting over who got to sleep next to the window.

Back then, we didn’t need fancy resorts or curated “experiences.” One friend’s terrace and a big steel tiffin box full of lemon rice did the job. We treated our friends’ parents like our own, and their mothers scolded us with such love and ownership, you’d think we came as part of the house package.

We finished our academics around 2000, all wide-eyed and curious about the future.

Some started with direct selling or handing out credit card applications in front of Saravana Stores — anything to avoid asking Appa for bus money.

By 2005, most of us had found jobs. From 2005 to 2012 (the year I got married), we were all busy “swiping right” in real life — running around for alliances, comparing horoscopes, and attending those awkward first meets where coffee tasted like tension.

Then came the kid marathon.
My second child was born in 2019. One of my best buddies, Vignesh, had his kid in 2020 — the final entry in our “Gen 1.0” batch.

Now, we’ve entered a new phase of life.
The same guys who once debated which cricket bat brand was best are now arguing about NEET coaching vs. coding classes.
We’ve moved from cycle races to chasing after school buses in the rain.

We want to hang out, but life says, “Sorry, today is fully booked with PTMs, grocery bills, and last-minute school project hunts.”

Last week, Vignesh came to India after ages. We managed just one hour together, squeezed between his kid’s nap schedule and my quick stop to buy vegetables.

I wanted to pour out my struggles, share my small wins, and dive deep into those “bro talks” that heal more than any medicine. But life had other plans and threw us back into separate lanes before we could even warm up.

We stay connected — thanks to Instagram stories and “Good morning” WhatsApp groups — but the emotional distance? That’s the new unspoken reality.

Looking back, it feels like life pressed the fast-forward button on us. We went from fighting over who would run up and twist the channel dial like we were defusing a bomb — to fighting over time slots in our own calendars.

Sometimes, I wish we could all pause. Sit on that same terrace again. No deadlines, no work calls, no worries about kids’ exams or cholesterol levels.

We grew up together, but somewhere along the way, life grew between us.