Identifying different States/Cities in India


Scenario 1: Two guys are  fighting & a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on..

That’s MUMBAI!!

Scenario 2: Two guys are fighting & a third guy comes along and tries to make peace.. The first two get together and beat him up..

That’s CHENNAI!!!

Scenario 3: Two guys fighting and third guy comes from a nearby house and says “don’t fight in front of my place, go somewhere else.” 

That’s BANGALORE!!!

Scenario 4: Two guys fighting third guy comes along with a carton of beer.. All sit together drink beer and abuse each other and go home as friends..

You are definitely in GOA!!!

Scenario 5: Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out & call their friends on their mobiles.. Now 50 guys are fighting..

You are in PUNJAB!!!

Scenario 6: Two guys fighting. Third guy comes and shoots both of them.. 

You are in BIHAR!!!

Scenario 7: Two guys fighting. Third guy comes and finds if his cast then beat other cast guy..

Then you are in Andhra Pradesh!!!

Ultimate Scenario: Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.. A guy comes along and quietly opens a tea stall there..

That’s KERALA!!!

Banta Singh & 3 Beers


BANTA AND HIS BEER

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain.

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London, orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.”

Banta Singh replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I’m here in London . When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way.. He’d order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”

Banta said, “Everyone’s fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is. .

I have QUIT drinking!”

Pakistan Jokes


Mohammed, a Pakistani child,  entered his classroom on the first day of school in Ohio (USA)

“What is your name?”  – asked the teacher.
“Mohammed”. . .. – answered the kid.

“You are in America now.  From now on your name  will be Johnny,” -replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammed  returned home. “How was your day, Mohammed?” – asked his mother.

“My name is not Mohammed. I’m in America and now my name is Johnny.”

“Ah, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!” – and she beat him.

Then she called his father and he too beat him.

The next day Mohammed returned to school..

When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, “What happenedto you little Johnny”?

Well madam, 4 hours after I becoming an American,  I was attacked by two Pakistani’s At home.”

Peak of Confidence!!!


A hypothetical situation where 20 CEOs board an airplane and are told that the flight that they are about to take is the first-ever to feature pilotless  technology: 
 
It is an un-crewed aircraft. Each one of the CEOs is then told, privately, that their company’s software is running the aircraft’s automatic pilot system. 
 
Nineteen of the CEOs promptly leave the aircraft, each offering a different type of excuse. 
 
One CEO alone remains on board the jet, seeming very calm indeed. Asked why he is so confident in this first un-crewed flight, he replie: 
 
“If it is the same software that’s developed by my company’s IT systems department, this plane won’t even take off.” !!!! 
That is called Confidence!!! 

Chinese detective humor


Warning: This post consists of some adult materials and if you are below 18 kindly don’t read further.

A guy suspected that his wife was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective… The cheapest one he could find.

This is his report:

Most honorable sir,

You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.

No fee,
Cheng Lee