The Day I Walked Away From Everything I Thought Was Mine

2008 didn’t just take away my company.

It took away people.

A partner I once called my best friend.
A love I believed was real.

Both gone.
Both unreal, as I painfully discovered.

That phase didn’t feel like loss.
It felt like being cut open… slowly… while still alive.

I still remember one day very clearly.

I got ready like any normal day — neatly dressed, wearing my Woodland shoes.
I told myself I’ll go watch a movie at Mayajaal. Maybe that would help.

I reached there.

But I couldn’t walk in.

Something inside me refused.

Instead, I just started walking.

No plan. No destination.

From Mayajaal… all the way to Mahabalipuram.

Tears didn’t stop.
Thoughts didn’t stop.

My mind kept replaying everything —
Was it all fake?
Was I living a dream that never existed?
How did everything collapse so fast?

At times, I don’t even remember parts of that walk.
There were moments of blankness… like my mind was shutting down to protect itself.

I don’t know how I walked that distance.
I don’t know how I came back.

I just did.

Years have passed.

Today, I have accepted what happened.
Life moved forward.
People moved on.
Even karma, in its own way, has done its job.

But acceptance is not the same as understanding.

Some questions never got answers.

Why did it happen?
Why did people change?
Was I blind… or just trusting?

I don’t carry anger anymore.

But I carry those questions.

Silently.

Because sometimes in life…
you don’t get closure.

You just learn to live without it.