For the last couple of days, I have been feeling anxious. It is difficult to point to one thing and say, “This is the reason.” There are several things, and they all seem to be waiting at the same time.
A pursuit gets delayed. Then it gets delayed again. Something I thought would be easy to finish develops a complication. I spend time trying to sort it out, only to find that the situation has turned against me.
Even a victory can feel strange when it does not come on the terms I wanted. I know I should be pleased that it ended, but part of my mind is still going over how it happened.
Meanwhile, there are other things I want to do. I think about starting one, then remember another that needs attention. Should I finish what is already pending? Deal with what feels urgent? Or make time for something I have wanted to build for a long time? I keep moving between these questions without settling on an answer.
That is the part of anxiety I find hardest to explain. From outside, it may look as though nothing is happening. Inside, I am constantly thinking, weighing, anticipating and preparing to react. A delay in one matter starts affecting how I approach everything else.
I want to get back to work with a clear mind. Right now, even deciding where to begin feels like another unfinished task.
AnandNataraj 