FUCK & English Grammar


Got this as MP3 during my final year college and I’ve forwarded it to Humpty of my friends… Just remembered of it and searched for the MP3 and was lucky enough to get it immediately… Also thought it would be nice to share this wonderful piece of information to you all…

Wish you all can now justify yourself in using this F word…

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the
English language today is the word fuck.
Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter “F”,
fuck is the only word that is referred to as the “F” word.
Its the one magical word, just by its sound can describe
pain, pleasure, hate and love.
Fuck, as most words in the English language,
is derived from German, the verb “ficken”, which means to strike.
In English, fuck falls into many gramatical catagories.
As a transitive verb for instance:
“John fucked Shirley”
As an intransitive verb:
“Shirley fucks”
It’s meaning’s not always sexual.
It can be used as an adjective such as:
“John’s doing all the fucking work”
As part of an adverb:
“Shirley talks to fucking much”
As an adverb enhancing an adjective:
“Shirley is fucking beautiful”
As a noun:
“I don’t give a fuck”
As part of a word:
“Abso-fucking-lutely” or “In-fucking-credible”
And, as almost every word in a sentence:
“Fuck the fucking fuckers”
As you must realise there aren’t to many words with the versatility of fuck.
As in these examples, describing situations,
such as fraud:
“I got fucked at the used car lot”
Dismay:
“Oh, fuck it”
Trouble:
“I guess I’m really fucked now”
Aggression:
“Don’t fuck with me buddy”
Difficulty”
“I don’t understand this fucking question”
Inquiry:
“Who the fuck was that?”
Dissatisfaction:
“I don’t like what the fuck is going on here”
Incompetence:
“He’s a fuck off”
Dismissal:
“Why don’t you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself”
I’m sure you can think of many more examples.
With all of these multipurpose applications,
how can anyone be offended when you use the word?!
We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.
It will identify the quality of your character immediately.
Say it loudly and proudly…

FUCK YOU

MP3 can be downloaded here

Highly Spoken Languages in the world


Highly Spoken Languages in the world

Today I had an argument with my friends telling English is not the largest spoken language in the world. My argument was based on assumption that China was the populous country in the world and I assumed Chinese to the largest spoken language. 

After coming home I Googled and startled to know these facts. 

  • Thought English to be second highly spoken language. But to my surprise English was 3rd highly spoken after Spanish.
  • Six Indian languages were placed in top 20 highly spoken languages list.
  • Tamil has 19th position.

So here is the list of languages and their rating.

Ranking

 

Languages

 

Estimates

 

1 Mandarin Chinese 845,000,000
2 Spanish 329,000,000
3 English 328,000,000
4 Hindi 242,000,000
5 Arabic 221,000,000
6 Bengali 181,000,000
7 Portuguese 178,000,000
8 Russian 144,000,000
9 Japanese 122,000,000
10 German 90,300,000
11 Javanese 84,600,000
12 Wu 77,200,000
13 Punjabi 78,300,000
14 French 67,800,000
15 Telugu 69,800,000
16 Vietnamese 68,600,000
17 Marathi 68,100,000
18 Korean 66,300,000
19 Tamil 65,700,000
20 Italian 61,700,000

You have to read slowly, to get thru it


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ‘Euro-English’..

In the first year, ‘s’ will replace the soft ‘c’. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ‘c’ will be dropped in favour of ‘k’. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent ‘e’ in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

Tribute to teachers


To start with I’m not a great admirer of teachers as I was always a below average student in my academics. But as usual I’ve my handful teachers who were very supportive and helped me come up. So these are the great ones to whom I’d like to pay my TRIBUTES; 

Jacqulin: She was my class teacher when I was in Class II in Alpha Matriculation Higher Secondary School, CIT Nagar, Chennai. She was young & good looking. I always had her affection and she was very supportive to me. Since she was a primary class in charge she did play an important role in my career. But she help to lay good foundation which was helpful in later stages.

Poonam Motwani: She took Biology when I was in Class IX in AV.Meiyappan Matriculation Higher Secondary School, Virugambakkam, Chennai. Class IX I came terribly low in my academics but I really excelled in Sports. In this year I represented my school in Zonals in Football, Basket Ball & Athletics. Poonam mam was newly married then and was a fresher to profession also she was gorgeous in her looks. I was pet student of Poonam mam as I was very naughty, mischievous & bottom topper in the class. She treated me like her brother and she really took lot of pains to improve my standards. But all her results ended in vain as I didn’t show any interest to learn. The very next year her husband got transferred and she left Chennai and I’m not sure where she lives. But I’ve high regards for her. 

Malathy: She took English when I was in Class IX, Class XI, Class XII in AV.Meiyappan Matriculation Higher Secondary School, Virugambakkam, Chennai. English is one subject which I was above average. Malathy mam was my well wisher and she keeps advising me to choosing a career path and she has shared a lot of her personal with me. She is one special person and I’d keep her at No.1 position compared to other teachers. After my schooling I didn’t take efforts to maintain contact with her and I feel ashamed for that. 

Usha Sundar: She was my HOD in by UG where I did Bachelors in Computer Science from Dhanraj Baid Jain College, Thoraipakkam, Chennai. She is one lady who stood as inspiration in my life for her courage and for her problem solving skills. Also today I dedicate my success to her. During farewell day she said; 

“You are all ending a life which is just filled with Fun and no worries.
You were shielded by your parents.
Now you are stepping into real world.
Real world is so cruel.
If you are successful it will take as its own success.
If you fail it will treat you miserably.
So, don’t take Success for Granted;
Failures to your heart;
Learn quickly;
Best of Luck.”

All these words hit me hard and since I ventured into business immediately after college I came across all the things she said and her words helped me to overcome struggles. You can understand as you can see I’ve typed her golden words even after 9 years. Again this lady is my courage, inspiration and a mentor.

Raghu Iyer: This man is a real legend when it comes to Finance, Teaching & Humor. He enlightened me by showing power of Ms-Excel as a tool to maintain finance. He really inspired me with his teaching style that I started developing admiration for Finance. He was my Finance professor at Great Lakes Institute of Management, Chennai.

In this list I’m in touch with Usha Sundar Mam & with Raghu Iyer thru linkedin.com. With other I’ve lost tough once after 1986 with Jacqulin, 1994 with Poonam & 1997 with Malathy. Let me see the power of internet and see if I’m able to get in touch with them.

Once again let me thank these important people as without you all I’m not what I’m today.

Also I’d like to thank Mr.Gopal Ramanan for igniting my inner self to atleast write about these great ones. He asked me to do it over chat and you can check his Teachers day tribute here.

At last Joy in Madurai


It has been 10 months since I’ve been visiting Madurai and initial 2 month have been great struggle to catch up with the culture. Also added up to the irony the city was deprived of Multiplexes and MNC food joints / boutique food joints. In these 10 months I’ve experimented tasting lots of family run food joints and did a lot of Vagabond trips to locations near to Madurai.

Also for last two months I had to postpone my Vagabond travelling because of summer and still pinch of summer is severe.

Starting from next month I’ll start my weekend vagabond trips and the places in the list are; 

  • Rameshwaram
  • Kuttralam
  • Valparai
  • A days stay in KaniyaKumari

DSC01186DSC01188Apart from this there is a brand new coffee shop opened in Anna Nagar which has a great ambiance and menus are also good. Also it is not crowded yet and I really enjoy visiting this joint.

By the end of August Millennium Mall will be open for public and it has 3 screen multiplex.

 

DSC01182DSC01184Also 2 weeks back Big Cinemas has opened 2 screen multiples which is screening Hindi & English movies and also the ambience is nice and place is clean.

At last I feel a sense of relief as I might not feel bored during evenings and weekends.