There was a time when I was a rookie and those really were my golden days. Back then, every day felt fresh and exciting. I had no baggage, no fear of messing up, and no overthinking. I was just focused on learning, growing, and enjoying the journey.

Friends were always around. They weren’t just people I knew but they were my sounding boards, my stress-busters, my biggest supporters. We shared laughs, and setbacks never felt heavy because there was no past baggage to drag me down. That freedom was the biggest reason my performance was at its peak. I was curious, fearless, and fully present in the moment.

But today, things are different. Over the years, experience has piled up. At first, I thought this would make life easier but it has quietly built walls around me. Every new idea now gets filtered through doubts, old memories, and what-ifs. The excitement to try something new often gets buried under “what if it goes wrong?”

Responsibilities have grown, and the emotional load is heavier. The close circle of friends has thinned; everyone is busy fighting their own battles. And connecting with the younger generation feels almost impossible — our worlds and ways of thinking are too different.

Simple solutions that once worked well are now called outdated. Everything is more complex, more layered, and somehow less human. When I try to rely on my experience, I’m often brushed aside as being “old school,” which only makes me more hesitant.

This cycle has taken a toll on my discipline and consistency. Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years and the one thing that quietly grows is procrastination.

It was hard to become successful. Staying sharp and moving forward is even harder. The toughest part? Getting back up and moving again when your mind keeps reminding you of all the things that could go wrong. That invisible weight can hold you back longer than any real setback ever could.

I now feel stuck between who I was and who I’ve become. The rookie in me was fearless, always ready to explore. The experienced me hesitates, overthinks, and gets stuck in old patterns.

Somewhere inside, though, that rookie spirit still exists. I believe it’s waiting for me to let go of the baggage, to stop living in the shadow of the past, and to start moving forward again.

Maybe the real answer isn’t about choosing one side but about keeping the rookie’s hunger alive while using the wisdom I’ve gained.

Because at the end of the day, time will keep moving whether we do or not. But what we do with it — that’s still in our hands.