Banta Singh & 3 Beers


BANTA AND HIS BEER

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition held in Britain.

Banta Singh walks into a bar in London, orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him, “You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.”

Banta Singh replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai , the other in Canada and I’m here in London . When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.”

The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.

Banta Singh became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way.. He’d order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.

One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers. All the other regulars notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bar tender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”

Banta said, “Everyone’s fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is. .

I have QUIT drinking!”

Rahul Gandhi Jokes


Rahul Gandhi walks into ICICI Bank to cash a check.

As he approaches the cashier he says, “Good morning Ma’am, would you please cash this check for me?”

Cashier: “It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?”

RG: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn’t think there was any need to. I am Vice President of the Congress Party. future indian PM.

Cashier: “Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”

RG: “Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am.”

Cashier: “I am sorry sir but these are the bank rules and I must follow them.”

RG: “I am urging you, please, to cash this check.”

Cashier: “Look Sir here is an example of what we can do.

One day, Sachin Tendulkar came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Sachin he pulled out his bat and made a beautiful shot across the bank. With that shot we knew him to be Sachin and cashed his check.”

Another time, Mahesh Bhupati came in without ID. He pulled out his tennis racquet and made a fabulous shot whereas the tennis ball landed in my cup. With that shot we cashed his check.

So, sir what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, future indian PM, Rahul Gandhi?”

RG stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, “Honestly, my mind is a total blank… There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can’t think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do; I just don’t have a clue”.

Cashier: “That is perfect,Sir. 500 ke note dun ya 1000 ke?

Some Sardar Jokes!!!


Sardar: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Sardar: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.

Q: How do you make a sardarji laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Sardar: I think that girl is deaf..
Friend: How do u know?
Sardar: I told I Love her, but she said her chapels are new.

Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Sardar: Wow!!! That’s an unbelievable exchange offer!!!

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

Judge: Don’t U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court..
Sardar to judge: U R coming daily, don’t U have shame?

Question: “Should Women have Children after 35?”
Smart Sardar Replied: “No! 35 Children R More than Enough!!”

Sardar attending an interview in Software Company.

Manager: Do U know MS Office?
Sardar: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

Sardar got a sms from his girl friend: “I MISS YOU”
Sardarji replied: “I Mr YOU” !!.

Sardar in airplane going 2 Bombay .. While its landing he shouted: “Bombay… Bombay”
Air hostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok.. Ombay. Ombay”

Teacher: “What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA, RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?”
Sardar: “All are born on government holidays…!!!

Sardar: Miss, Do u called 2 my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Sardar: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call”.

 (Had never thought of it)

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Sardar: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE