Helpers live strange lives.
They give without being asked loudly.
They help without calculating returns.
And when life turns, they are expected to disappear quietly.
No applause. No credit. No memory.
How Helping Slowly Becomes Invisibility
There is a social rule nobody teaches you:
Help is respected only when the helper stands above you.
When the helper stands beside you or worse, falls below you help stops being generosity and starts feeling like obligation.
At that point, gratitude quietly exits the room.
The Helper’s Trap
Helpers often give from sacrifice, not surplus.
They help when they shouldn’t.
They stretch when they can’t.
They assume goodwill compounds like interest.
It doesn’t.
What compounds is expectation.
Soon, the helper is no longer thanked they are approached.
Not remembered but accessed.
And when the helper struggles?
Silence.
The Most Insulting Moment
The hardest part isn’t being refused help.
It’s being asked for help again by the same people who ignored you when you were drowning.
At that moment, the helper realises something painful:
To some people, help is not a bond. It is a habit.
Why Helpers Are Forgotten
A few repeating patterns explain it:
1. Help Without Power Is Uncomfortable
Acknowledging help from a struggling person forces people to confront an unpleasant truth:
I was lifted by someone who is now below me.
So the mind erases the debt.
2. Helpers Disrupt the Success Narrative
People prefer clean stories:
I did it on my own.
Helpers complicate that story.
3. Familiarity Breeds Entitlement
The more quietly you help, the more invisible you become.
Silence is misread as strength.
Kindness is mistaken for availability.
A Darkly Funny Truth
Helpers are remembered in two moments only:
* When they are needed
* When they finally say no
The second moment is when relationships collapse.
Not because you stopped helping
but because you stopped *absorbing disrespect.
What Helpers Must Learn (The Hard Way)
Helping is noble.
But unprotected helping is self-harm.
Boundaries are not cruelty.
Refusal is not betrayal.
Self-respect is not arrogance.
Closing Line
“Helpers don’t regret helping.
They regret forgetting themselves while doing it.”
If you’re a helper, remember this:
Your value is not measured by how much you give but by how well you protect your dignity.
Tag: friendship
When Dreams Turn Into Daggers
In 2008, six of my friends did something most people only dream about.
They walked away from cozy jobs, steady paychecks, and the warm security of “playing safe” to build something bigger. Something worth remembering. They were all in their late 20s, brimming with fire. They took loans, emptied savings, and pledged the prime of their lives to a single dream.
The world of entrepreneurship, however, wasn’t the romantic adventure they imagined. It was brutal, unforgiving, and often lonely. They worked sleepless nights, took no salary for months, and when they finally did, it was far below what they could have earned elsewhere. They traded comfort for survival, and survival for the hope of victory.
And slowly, painfully, they built a brand — a brand that became a name others admired, a story that inspired.
But today… that story has a bitter ending.
One person’s greed — one — has turned all of that sweat, sacrifice, and shared hardship into ashes.
Three of my friends, who bled for this company for 15 long years, have been thrown out. Not because they failed. Not because they lacked value. But because the man they trusted — a friend — decided he wanted it all.
Money. Power. Control.
The irony? That man is my friend too. And watching him walk the same path as my ex‑business partner is like déjà vu wrapped in heartbreak. I’ve lived through betrayal. I’ve woken up to the taste of iron in my mouth, knowing someone I trusted had buried a knife in my back. I know the hollow it leaves inside you.
He needs to understand — really understand — what it means to crush the very people who carried you through the storms.
He needs to know that the applause he hears today will fade… and karma has the longest memory of all.
And to my friends who were wronged —
I want to tell you this:
Believe in yourself. Stay the course. Don’t let the poison of betrayal seep into the veins of your purpose. Karma takes time, yes… but when it moves, it never misses. I have seen it with my own eyes.
Success built on betrayal is a glass palace. It may look beautiful now, but the cracks are already forming.
And one day, when it shatters, the shards will cut deeper than any knife.
Friends in Oblivion: A Reflection on Those Mad, Beautiful Years
They say friendships are the family we choose. But sometimes, life gives us friends we never knew we needed — and takes them away just as unexpectedly.
Between 2008 and 2012, I had a circle that was nothing short of electric. We weren’t just building businesses; we were building each other.
It was a phase of wild nights and wilder dreams. Knowledge collaboration in the day, partying hard at night, getting stoned over the weekends — we did things that today sound crazy and almost unbelievable. But that madness was our glue. It detoxed us from daily business stress, kept us alive, and taught us more than any MBA ever could.
But life, as always, had its own plans.
End of 2012, I got married. My father’s sudden hospitalization soon after shattered that rhythm. One by one, the circle started breaking — some had fallouts among themselves, some quit entrepreneurship, some got into serious personal crises, others moved abroad, and a few simply withdrew into their own worlds.
Then came COVID. Financial struggles and the survival grind tightened the last few threads. I got so entangled in rebuilding my life that those friendships, once my lifeline, drifted into oblivion.
Today, I look back and wonder: What were those friendships? Why did they feel so irreplaceable? Why do they hurt to remember?
What were they really?
Those were what I now understand as situational friendships — connections born out of a specific context, a shared madness, and a common dream. We didn’t become friends because of shared childhoods or family ties, but because we shared the same burning fire in that phase of life.
We were all entrepreneurs — each of us a little broken, a little foolish, yet unshakably hopeful. We learned from each other, fought with each other, and celebrated every tiny win like it was the end of the world.
Why do they fade?
Because life is not a constant. Priorities change. Marriage, kids, health crises, business failures, relocations — all these start pulling us in different directions. Some find new tribes, some retreat into personal solitude, and some get consumed by survival.
There’s no big betrayal or dramatic end — just a quiet drifting apart. A slow fade into silence.
Do I miss them?
Every day.
I miss the impulsive midnight drives, the heated debates that went from business models to philosophical rabbit holes, the sense of belonging to a gang that truly “got it.”
But I also know that those friendships, like beautiful old songs, belong to a time and place that can’t be recreated. They were chapters meant to end, lessons meant to be carried forward, not lived on repeat.
Some friendships are like rivers — they flow into your life, shape your shores, then find their way to the sea. You can’t hold them back, but you can always feel the shape they left on your soul.
A final whisper to that gang
Wherever you all are — running a new venture, teaching your kids to ride a bicycle in Canada, or quietly reflecting on those reckless days — I hope you feel the same warmth when you think of our nights in Adambakkam.
Some friendships are meant to be wild tides — crashing, roaring, unforgettable — before they dissolve into the larger sea of life.
Catching Up After 13 Years — With Kombucha & Cosmic Gossip
Today was one of those unexpectedly perfect days. I finally met Ajith after 13 long years. Honestly, I don’t even know how these years flew by — it felt like we were still on that Bangalore drive, debating random life topics and making a pit stop at midnight in McDonald’s Sulagiri.
Ajith took the initiative to set this up (big thanks, buddy!), and he also introduced me to TAKKT Southern Cafe & Kombucha. What a fun, happening place right in our own backyard! The kombucha? Absolutely fantastic — like a refreshing plot twist in a boring daily routine.
It felt nice to see that he has also given up a few things in life, just like I did. Maybe that’s why old friends feel special — they remind you of who you were and show parts of yourself you might have forgotten.
We covered everything today: work stories, personal struggles and joys from these 13 years, a little astrology (yes, Saturn in the 8th house still keeping life spicy), and plenty of those “just because” stories that have no start or end.
Thank you again, Ajith, for pulling me out and for the kombucha initiation. Let’s make sure we don’t wait another 13 years — next time, maybe a road trip, or even better, some divine temple trail to balance all this cosmic karma.
Enemies Respect You; Traitors Measure You
Seeman Speech
Transcript in English
Today’s traitor was my friend yesterday. Tomorrow’s traitor is today’s friend.
An enemy is always at a distance. But a traitor is always near you.
An enemy will always respect your strengths. But a traitor will always calculate and exploit your weaknesses.
This doesn’t happen only to me — it will happen to you too. So, be cautious.
Kamarajar once said: ‘Show love to every living being, but be very careful with humans.’
We know what a snake will do. We know what a monkey will do. We know what a tiger will do.
But you can never predict what this human beast will do.
Core message
The speech warns us that true danger doesn’t always come from obvious enemies but it often comes from people close to us, the ones who appear as friends but act as traitors.
The speaker emphasizes caution in human relationships:
- Enemies are straightforward and respect your power.
- Traitors stay close, study your weaknesses, and use them against you.
- We understand animals, but humans are unpredictable and can be more dangerous than any wild creature.
It’s a call to be vigilant, not naive, and to love broadly but trust selectively.
Dealing with a Boomer Uncle: Lessons Learned from My Friend’s Experience
We all have that one friend who always seems to depend on us for everything, but creates a narrative that we are dependent on them. They tell everyone how our lives would be without them, and act like they are the center of our universe. I have such a friend, and I have named him Boomer Ungle in my blog posts.
Boomer Ungle is the quintessential advice-giver. He has an opinion on everything, from how to do business to how to manage my personal relationships. He tells me why I failed in my ventures, and how I can do better next time. He even tells me how I should raise my children, and how I should interact with my spouse. In short, he has an advice for everything, and he’s not shy about sharing it with me and everyone else around.
At first, I used to get irritated with his constant advice-giving. I felt like he was trying to impose his views on me, and I resented that. But over time, I realized that his behavior was more about him than it was about me. He needed to feel important, and he did that by making me feel like I needed him.
It’s ironic that Boomer Ungle sees himself as the one who is indispensable to me, because the truth is that I don’t really need him. Yes, he’s been a friend for a long time, and we’ve shared some good times together. But I don’t rely on him for anything, and I don’t feel like my life would be significantly worse without him.
In fact, whenever Boomer Ungle starts his narrative about how much I depend on him, I can’t help but laugh. I find it amusing that he can’t see the truth, and that he has to create a story to make himself feel important.
But despite all of this, I’ve come to accept Boomer Ungle for who he is. I don’t take his advice seriously, but I listen to it with a sense of detachment. I recognize that he’s trying to be helpful, even if his advice is often misguided.
And so, I’ve decided to call him Boomer Ungle in my blog posts. It’s a term that captures his essence, and it’s become a running joke among my friends. They all know who I’m talking about when I use that term, and they often chuckle at the mention of it.
In the end, Boomer Ungle is just another part of my life. He’s not the most important part, but he’s there, and he’s a reminder that we all have quirks and idiosyncrasies that make us who we are. And even though he may drive me crazy at times, I’m glad to have him as a friend.
How Lending Money Killed Friendship!!!
I’ve personally experienced this with a classmate of mine. I lent him money when he was in need. I had to nag him to get that money back. Though he repaid that money in instalments, he cut all sort of communication with me!!!
When I came across this quote it remainder my personal experience… Also I believe most of them would have experienced this 🙂
I had my money and my friend!!!
I gave my money to my friend!!!
I asked my money from my friend!!
I lost my money and my friend!!
AnandNataraj 