Nostalgia is a Liar – And I Keep Falling for It


There’s a thief that roams around my mind often. It doesn’t steal money, time, or opportunities. It steals my now.

It’s called nostalgia – the most charming liar of all time.

I’ve realized something lately (after deep self-reflection… and one too many walks down memory lane):
We humans have a weird habit of loving what we had, and completely ignoring what we have.

Think about it…

  • We miss school when we’re in college.
  • We miss college once we start working.
  • We miss the rookie hustle when we finally settle into comfort.
  • We miss our first love when we marry a beautiful, nag-proof spouse.
  • And just when we start enjoying couplehood, kids arrive — and we start missing our couple time.

And it doesn’t stop there.

This disease spreads to professional life too:

  • We carry the baggage of past roles, old bosses, and “those glory days.”
  • We talk about how things used to be better — instead of figuring out how to make this better.

We keep looking over our shoulder, wishing life had a reverse gear.
But here’s the joke — we’re so busy missing the past that we forget to make the present miss-worthy.

So today, I’ve decided to stop romanticizing what was and start appreciating what is.
No more looking back unless it’s to laugh, learn, or let go.

Because one day, we might miss this moment too — so let’s live it like it’s worth remembering.

Friends in Oblivion: A Reflection on Those Mad, Beautiful Years


They say friendships are the family we choose. But sometimes, life gives us friends we never knew we needed — and takes them away just as unexpectedly.

Between 2008 and 2012, I had a circle that was nothing short of electric. We weren’t just building businesses; we were building each other.

It was a phase of wild nights and wilder dreams. Knowledge collaboration in the day, partying hard at night, getting stoned over the weekends — we did things that today sound crazy and almost unbelievable. But that madness was our glue. It detoxed us from daily business stress, kept us alive, and taught us more than any MBA ever could.

But life, as always, had its own plans.

End of 2012, I got married. My father’s sudden hospitalization soon after shattered that rhythm. One by one, the circle started breaking — some had fallouts among themselves, some quit entrepreneurship, some got into serious personal crises, others moved abroad, and a few simply withdrew into their own worlds.

Then came COVID. Financial struggles and the survival grind tightened the last few threads. I got so entangled in rebuilding my life that those friendships, once my lifeline, drifted into oblivion.

Today, I look back and wonder: What were those friendships? Why did they feel so irreplaceable? Why do they hurt to remember?

What were they really?

Those were what I now understand as situational friendships — connections born out of a specific context, a shared madness, and a common dream. We didn’t become friends because of shared childhoods or family ties, but because we shared the same burning fire in that phase of life.

We were all entrepreneurs — each of us a little broken, a little foolish, yet unshakably hopeful. We learned from each other, fought with each other, and celebrated every tiny win like it was the end of the world.

Why do they fade?

Because life is not a constant. Priorities change. Marriage, kids, health crises, business failures, relocations — all these start pulling us in different directions. Some find new tribes, some retreat into personal solitude, and some get consumed by survival.

There’s no big betrayal or dramatic end — just a quiet drifting apart. A slow fade into silence.

Do I miss them?

Every day.

I miss the impulsive midnight drives, the heated debates that went from business models to philosophical rabbit holes, the sense of belonging to a gang that truly “got it.”

But I also know that those friendships, like beautiful old songs, belong to a time and place that can’t be recreated. They were chapters meant to end, lessons meant to be carried forward, not lived on repeat.

Some friendships are like rivers — they flow into your life, shape your shores, then find their way to the sea. You can’t hold them back, but you can always feel the shape they left on your soul.

A final whisper to that gang

Wherever you all are — running a new venture, teaching your kids to ride a bicycle in Canada, or quietly reflecting on those reckless days — I hope you feel the same warmth when you think of our nights in Adambakkam.

Some friendships are meant to be wild tides — crashing, roaring, unforgettable — before they dissolve into the larger sea of life.

A Generation Disconnected: Where Did We Lose the Thread?


We didn’t grow up visiting hotels. We grew up visiting hearts.

When I close my eyes and think of my childhood, it’s never about fancy vacations or five-star resorts. It’s the smell of my grandmother’s kitchen, the chaos of sleeping ten to a room on the floor, the shared laughter echoing through my uncle’s village home.

Holidays didn’t mean plane tickets or curated itineraries. Holidays meant piling into crowded buses and trains, hopping from one relative’s house to another. We didn’t book hotels but our homes were each other’s hotels. Our cousins weren’t just “relatives,” they were our first friends, our first rivals, our first lessons in sharing, forgiving, and standing up for each other.

We fought like cats and dogs over a piece of mango, formed secret gangs in the neighborhood, and defended each other in front of elders even if we had fought the previous night. Those silly fights and spontaneous adventures taught us patience, empathy, and resilience. They made us feel rooted, as if no matter how tough the world was outside, there was always a gang waiting with open arms.

But today, as I watch my children grow, I feel a quiet ache in my heart. The world has become smaller and faster, yet our circles have become narrower and colder.

Most of my cousins have moved abroad. We now meet on rare occasions and a rushed dinner, a hurried coffee. When they visit India, they stay in hotels or spend a day at our home before moving on. Our children look at each other like polite strangers, awkwardly sharing a few minutes before retreating to their screens. By the time they warm up, it’s already time to say goodbye.

When I was my daughter’s age, I had at least 15 cousins with whom I had created countless stories. Even today, no matter how far they are, I can pick up the phone and know there’s a friend on the other side who understands me without explanations.

But what about our kids? Who will they call when they’re lonely at midnight? Who will they turn to when they need that quiet moral support that only someone who grew up with you can offer?

We’ve unknowingly cut off a generation from the warmth of cousinhood, from the small fights that build big hearts, from the comfort of shared silences and shared mischief. We’ve traded community for comfort, depth for convenience.

I often wonder, if this new normal progress or a quiet tragedy? Are we giving them wings but forgetting to give them roots?

I don’t have all the answers. But I know this: relationships don’t grow in hotel lobbies or quick meet-ups. They grow in messy kitchens, in crowded living rooms, in late-night talks that spill into dawn.

It’s not too late. We can still invite cousins to stay over, plan longer family visits, encourage our kids to spend a summer vacation at a relative’s home without us hovering around. We can start telling them our stories — about how we played, how we fought, how we learned to love each other through it all.

We owe it to them. We owe it to the silent bonds that made us who we are today.

Let’s not leave them with just photos and polite greetings. Let’s gift them the messy, beautiful, irreplaceable magic of family.

Catching Up After 13 Years — With Kombucha & Cosmic Gossip


Today was one of those unexpectedly perfect days. I finally met Ajith after 13 long years. Honestly, I don’t even know how these years flew by — it felt like we were still on that Bangalore drive, debating random life topics and making a pit stop at midnight in McDonald’s Sulagiri.

Ajith took the initiative to set this up (big thanks, buddy!), and he also introduced me to TAKKT Southern Cafe & Kombucha. What a fun, happening place right in our own backyard! The kombucha? Absolutely fantastic — like a refreshing plot twist in a boring daily routine.

It felt nice to see that he has also given up a few things in life, just like I did. Maybe that’s why old friends feel special — they remind you of who you were and show parts of yourself you might have forgotten.

We covered everything today: work stories, personal struggles and joys from these 13 years, a little astrology (yes, Saturn in the 8th house still keeping life spicy), and plenty of those “just because” stories that have no start or end.

Thank you again, Ajith, for pulling me out and for the kombucha initiation. Let’s make sure we don’t wait another 13 years — next time, maybe a road trip, or even better, some divine temple trail to balance all this cosmic karma.

From Sleepovers to Missed Calls: Growing Up and Growing Apart


We didn’t grow apart. Life just grew between us.

I come from an era when summer vacations meant stuffing myself with mangoes at cousins’ houses and fighting over who got to sleep next to the window.

Back then, we didn’t need fancy resorts or curated “experiences.” One friend’s terrace and a big steel tiffin box full of lemon rice did the job. We treated our friends’ parents like our own, and their mothers scolded us with such love and ownership, you’d think we came as part of the house package.

We finished our academics around 2000, all wide-eyed and curious about the future.

Some started with direct selling or handing out credit card applications in front of Saravana Stores — anything to avoid asking Appa for bus money.

By 2005, most of us had found jobs. From 2005 to 2012 (the year I got married), we were all busy “swiping right” in real life — running around for alliances, comparing horoscopes, and attending those awkward first meets where coffee tasted like tension.

Then came the kid marathon.
My second child was born in 2019. One of my best buddies, Vignesh, had his kid in 2020 — the final entry in our “Gen 1.0” batch.

Now, we’ve entered a new phase of life.
The same guys who once debated which cricket bat brand was best are now arguing about NEET coaching vs. coding classes.
We’ve moved from cycle races to chasing after school buses in the rain.

We want to hang out, but life says, “Sorry, today is fully booked with PTMs, grocery bills, and last-minute school project hunts.”

Last week, Vignesh came to India after ages. We managed just one hour together, squeezed between his kid’s nap schedule and my quick stop to buy vegetables.

I wanted to pour out my struggles, share my small wins, and dive deep into those “bro talks” that heal more than any medicine. But life had other plans and threw us back into separate lanes before we could even warm up.

We stay connected — thanks to Instagram stories and “Good morning” WhatsApp groups — but the emotional distance? That’s the new unspoken reality.

Looking back, it feels like life pressed the fast-forward button on us. We went from fighting over who would run up and twist the channel dial like we were defusing a bomb — to fighting over time slots in our own calendars.

Sometimes, I wish we could all pause. Sit on that same terrace again. No deadlines, no work calls, no worries about kids’ exams or cholesterol levels.

We grew up together, but somewhere along the way, life grew between us.

Lived the memory


It is always feels good to visit your native where your ancestors lived and belonged!! I use to visit my native Chidambaram every year, it was 1990’s which made this place more memorable!!

Those days it was dirty, smelly & people’s attire showed they were from a rural place!! These day the town has improved a lot on cleanliness & people way of dressing!! It is coming close to urban standards!!

I keep visiting relatives, dad’s friends, Nataraja temple and movies as a child!!

On completing my graduation and after getting busy with work there was no time for friends, relatives, temple and movie!!! Still I went to Chidambaram which was go & come the same day visits, which was mainly for offering Pooja for our community God!!!

This week I’ve made sure I stay and cherish my childhood life back!! Unfortunately I couldn’t visit relatives, friends & Nataraja temple.. It was a tiring drive and work as always!!!

But I went for a drive around this small town and went for a movie which I remember going almost 13 years back!!!


Then closed my day watching Aranmanai 2 at Lena Theatre!!

Finally could live a small part of my childhood!!!

Remember ‘Small Wonder’? and this is hot those kids look now!!


image

For a generation which grew up watching Small Wonder.,.

My Blog Kindles Nostalgia


Just realized after seeing Roobans Facebook feed that it has been 3 years since we went on a Vagabond trip…

http://www.anandnataraj.com/blog/2010/03/21/sleeping-in-the-car/

Couldn’t believe its 3 years as events still remain in front of me and it looks as if it happened yesterday…

While we 3 musketeers were driving on OMR and planning for a routine weekend… Kavi in his own ways asked if written can drive long?

Immediately without hesitation Rooban and I agreed…. Immediately we took a U- Turn and the rest is history…

Immediately after the experience I blogged it and today the blog took us to Nostalgia… Today definitely the memory lives…

Am typing this blog without seeing what I blogged 3 years back… But these are things I remember;

  • Started driving to Yelagiri by 11 from Chennai…
  • Stopped in a road side dhaba for some food and drink somewhere neat kancheepuram…
  • Reached Yelagiri by 4ish in the morning…
  • Slept in the car…
  • Booked a room for an hour to refresh and for bath… Quarreled with the owner for being harsh…
  • Had break fast in a road side bhai kadai…
  • Saw a guy who met with an accident and offered our mineral water bottle…
  • Met a Thala fan…
  • Saw a guy who was constructing gate villas…
  • Went to Fab end and had ice-cream in a shop…
  • Spent some time on a tower near the lake…
  • On way back took a pic of a school van which had something wrong…Rooban bro do you remember what was wrong?
  • Briyani at Khaja Restaurant at Ambur by evening…
  • Back to Chennai by 8…