How to align with Mother’s & Wife’s priorities with my priority??

This is one topic which I was feeling hesitant to write it out!!! Finally decided to go ahead with an assumption that some experienced hand can guide me!!!

It was planned a month back that my wife and I would be in Chennai during Pongal and complete all our bank related work… As always there was some change in plan and her visit to Chennai has been pushed to second week of February!!

So, I’ve filled forms and collected all necessary documents, got it signed by my wife and came to Chennai to complete the banking work!!! 

Upon submission of all the forms and documents to the bank there were request for some additional documents which has to be signed by my wife!!

Then I had to get this completed by having to & fro movement of documents to get the task completed!! For a task which could have been completed easily if my wife had been in person, took me 3-4 addition days with physical and mental stress added to it!!

Then I’ve planned of taking my mother to Madurai & Bangalore coming week to complete our obligation out there!!!

She agreed to make it up this week!! Now she wants to work on her pension and she has asked me to plan some other day to work Madurai & Bangalore priorities!!!

Unfortunately they fail to understand that I had to balance my professional & personal time!! I’ve planned to work from home for last week and coming week to concentrate on my personal work!!! 

Now lack of understanding and support has collapsed my plans!!! They get angry on me when I push them to align with my plans!!!

Finally I could complete last weeks work with unnecessary difficulty and cancelled the plans with I had with mother!!!

Really struggling to align the two important women of mine to travel along with me!!!


Uncertain Times

Last six months have been very testing…. For a person who is motivated, decisive and tough; it is very challenging as it is a time which tests that basic trait….

Yes I’m running thru the trauma of my dad’s health for six months now… Always my parents have given their best to my sister and me in spite of their middle class earnings… They are soo god-fearing, impractical & ordinary common people…

Have been struggling to bring back dad by making him mentally tough and help him win over tough times… Unfortunately I couldn’t push him and make him mentally tough….

Am standing helpless watching him being weak, indecisive and fragile… As am emotionally connected too him I had to bog down to his ordinary ways…

Now left the destiny to god and walking thru with blind hope… Wish god gives mental strength to my dad…

How to cope up with failed love?

Now many people can cope up with failed / strained relationship. When i came to know about suicide of model Viveka Babajee I thought I must openup. I can understand how it pains with my personal experience. How I felt at that time was;

  • Was unable to accept the reality that the relationship is over. Kept thinking that some miracle would happen & the person would revert back.
  • Was always living on the virtual world with the golden memories spent with the person.
  • Wanted to be alone. Not even with close friends.
  • Felt there was no meaning in living.
  • All the better memories and better things on hand became valueless.
  • Thought of ending life also prevailed on the corner of the mind.
  • Brain stopped working.
  • Didn’t feel like going to office, work, sleep, eat etc.

To keep it short I became like a living dead body. All i ask such people is to hold the nerve. There is definitely good in every bad. But we have to live to see all the exciting new things.

After overcoming months of pain. I came across lot of good humans whom i’d have missed if I stayed with the person. I’m happy today that I got a lot of deserving things for the loss I had and sure to get more too.

These are the things I did to overcome the tough phase;

  • I travelled to places where I’ve never been with my ex;
  • Moved to a place which was totally NEW. The place didn’t give me any memories of the past.
  • Created an hobby in Blogging to express my thought. This was one medium which was really helpful.
  • Developed another hobby in photography & vagabond travel.
  • Joined a GYM.

Overall I kept myself engaged fully that I didn’t have time to think about her and over time we get beautiful things what were worth than the loss.

Last thing is we must not forget that the person who had left us has a lot to loose than us. Experience of over coming tough patch of life is a wonderful feel. We must be gifted to get to feel the fain in it. And i’m happy for what has happened to me.

For people who had broken relationships move ahead! experience! and document your experience for others.

Yet another speech from Chetan Bhagat

I’m really carried away by this Chetan Bhagat speech and also it makes sense.

Don’t just have career or academic goals. set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. i use the word balanced before successful. balanced means ensuring your health, relationship, mental peace are all in good order. there is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. there is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tension.

Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. if the marble falls, there is no point coming first. same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. your striving is only worth if it there is harmony in your life. else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being exciting and alive, will start to die.

One thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. we are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. if we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. and 50 years just 2500 weekends. do we really need to get so worked up?

It’s ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, Enjoy with your friends, fall in love, little fights with your loved ones. We are people, not programmed decided.

Don’t be serious, be sincere.

Relationship terms

Yesterday I went to a cousin’s marriage and I was often confused with these relationship terms thought they are simple. So I wanted to draw a chart to clarify things… 








Sister or Brother

Nephew or Niece

Grand-nephew or niece

G-grand-nephew or niece


Nephew or Niece

First cousin

First cousin, once removed

First cousin, twice removed


Grand-nephew or niece

First cousin, once removed

Second cousin

Second cousin, once removed


G-grand-nephew or niece

First cousin, twice removed

Second cousin, once removed

Third cousin

Cousin (first cousin)

Your first cousins are the people in your family who have two of the same grandparents as you. In other words, they are the children of your aunts and uncles.

Second Cousin

Your second cousins are the people in your family who have the same great-grandparents as you. but not the same grandparents.

Third, Fourth, and Fifth Cousins

Your third cousins have the same great-great-grandparents; fourth cousins have the same great-great-great-grandparents, and so on.


When the word “removed” is used to describe a relationship, it indicates that the two people are from different generations. You and your first cousins are in the same generation (two generations younger than your grandparents), so the word “removed” is not used to describe your relationship.

The words “once removed” mean that there is a difference of one generation. For example, your mother’s first cousin is your first cousin, once removed. This is because your mother’s first cousin is one generation younger than your grandparents and you are two generations younger than your grandparents. This one-generation difference equals “once removed.”

Twice removed means there is a two-generation difference. You are two generations younger than a first cousin of your grandmother, so you and your grandmother’s first cousin are first cousins, twice removed.