Category: Personal

Is being mean a mistake?


For 20 years in my life i’ve been an ordinary person by leading a life for my parents wishes. I was scared of criticism but thankfully I always had an opportunity to find compassion in someone. But it all changed the day I told my parents, relatives & friends that I wanted to become an entrepreneur I was criticized by everyone. That struck me really hard and I wanted to prove everyone wrong. From then on I had come across a lot of good and bad moments.

In the pursuit of my dreams I’m traveling in a place of uncertainties. I carry a lot of responsibility & commitment unlike a normal person. For all this the cost I’m paying is ignoring my responsibilities & commitment in my personal life.

  • Last weekend my mother was feeling bad that my contribution towards my sisters marriage preparation is zero.
  • I’ve been ignoring important ones in my life for my personal interest.

I don’t want to justify my acts but I’m forced to be mean as the situation demands it. Again I don’t have a better place to open my guilt other than my blog.

Folks I’m Guilty of Being Mean for my PERSONAL INTEREST…

Is beauty everything???


“An army officer comes shouting that they have killed the beast; for which the director tells The Beauty Killed the Beast” and there ends the movie KingKong. For those who have not seen the movie here is a small synopsis;

A movie crew goes to shoot a movie in a forest and the crew get lost and the heroine would be rescued by a Chimpanzee & eventually the beast falls in love with the beautiful heroine. Once the heroine comes back to the mainland the beast follows and eventually would be killed by the army fearing it would harm the people.

Likewise last Sunday went to have dinner with my friends & the entire restaurants eyeballs fell on this pretty women. She was accompanied by a guy who was simply UGLY. There was a spontaneous question from one of my friend;

Why aren’t we lucky like him Bro?

Then there was some reply from everyone of us for that question;

  • I said we didn’t take enough time to run behind girls as we were busy in our pursuit. We were unable to spare the quality time which they expect us to spend.
  • One said beautiful girls are arrogant & it was better we didn’t get such girls in our life.
  • One said if we need such a girl we must be rich to manage them.
  • One who put the question said we don’t have luck.

By this time the girl finished her dinner and left the joint and we all look at her with a deep breath & as usual we were back with our agenda.

What every the answer might be we are all attracted towards beauty.

My Perception of 3 Cities


Madas day is happening and I’m proud to be the son of a city which has a great History. But I’ve been thinking how did I feel when i went to 3 other cities and what was my first take about the city. Here goes my perception;

Bangalore: First i visited the city when i was 8 years old and that too for a day. I hardly remember much about that experience. But later I went to this city when i was 17 years old after completing my schooling. My father took me there for vacation. Right from the beginning i got excited;

  • I saw a very clean & planned city.
  • Saw pretty girls who were modernly dressed again unlike Chennai (then, now Chennai is much better than Bangalore :)).
  • Saw couples smooching on public places (Sadly this is controlled these days).
  • Lots of pubs unlike Chennai.
  • A enviable night life.
  • A pleasant climate.
  • Lot of hotels.

All the above were new for me then because Chennai was considered very conservative them. I even considered getting settled in Bangalore. But today Chennai has caught up with all the points i specified & Bangalore has fallen down. Also Bangalore has become a victim of mass urbanization and it has lost its charm. Anyways I consider Bangalore to be my second home town as I’ve a house there and Chennai – Bangalore being very proximate I don’t get the feel that it is a different city.

Madurai: There is nothing much to talk about this City. The day I entered the city it was dirty, unruly & zero entertainment. I felt very lonely for the first three months as I didn’t have any other place other than Cafe Coffee Day. I’ve never intended to stay there as that was not the place for me. But I owe a lot to this City as it helped me to come back from all the pains cause during 2008. Year 2010 has been more happening for this city and there are lots of joints and brands falling in this city & today it gives tough fight with Cities like Chennai or Bangalore. These days i enjoy visiting this city.

Coimbatore: My first visit to this city was 2 years back and I was really carried away. Like Bangalore i got a liking towards this city on first sight. Things excited me;

  • Posh houses & cosmopolitan lifestyle.
  • Pretty Girls but culture abiding.
  • Less traffic.
  • Good Climate.
  • Nice Business environment.

I want to get settled here if this place doesn’t become another Bangalore.

Should I live for myself or for the society???


After coming from Ooty I’ve posted snaps of me drinking & dancing with friends. I got request from my well wishers to remove them. The reason they gave me is that I’m a CEO & people will not respect if I engage on such things. Thought of posting my views on going public on my acts.

  • First I don’t want to Justify the act of Drinking.
  • Also I’m not endorsing something.
  • I drink occasionally & I want to enjoy the occasion.
  • My personal & professional lives are apart and I don’t want to hide something for the sake of another.
  • I feel by hiding / filtering my personal experience for the sake of Professional respect is again like Cheating people.
  • I want my Brand Identity & Brand Image to be the same.
  • I’m convinced in what I’m doing because; My Virtual Mentors like Steve Jobs, Richard Branson & Larry Ellison have all lived a life which were public & still they were respected.

So, according to me I must be respected Professionally for the work I do & not by seeing my personal life. I know it is a matter of debate, but i believe in what I’m doing and I feel proud to be a open person.

Nights are Boring


I’ve been a night bird for more than 13 years now. This practice has changed my metabolism & I’m unable to change this cycle. If i sleep by 9 or 10 PM I wake up at 2 AM or I goto bed only by 4 or 5 AM.

But that is not the problem. Problem is my style of working. I use to call or chat with friends while working & by this way I see to it that the work load doesn’t take a toll on my performance.

But these day nights are a nightmare to me. When I want to take a brea don’t k I have anyone to talk with or to chat. Spending those 4 – 5 hours at night looks like crossing a decade in life.

For long i’ve been suffering from this lonely-mania at nights and still haven’t found a solution. The best possible solution will be to develop a team at night and spend time with them.

Struggled to reach Coimbatore


Yesterday was a hectic & frustrating day;

– Slept long & reached to board meeting by 12.30
– Then had a nice board meeting.
– Then thought of video blogging & got free installation & integration of VBlog from Contus Support.
– Thought of publishing my first video blog but was unable do it in hurry.
– Rains spoiled the road & made it unwalkable.
– Caught a rick to board the bus.
– From there the nightmare started.
– The bus took a long route to Coimbatore.
– The route was full of pits and we were thrown up & down. Until we reached Erode we had a bumpy ride & was unable to sleep.

Though I enjoy such unexpected experiences. I was in a bad mood to enjoy it this time. But finally reached Coimbatore & started planning to chill out the bad mood.

Sleep delayed the day


It was a drowsy start for the day. Had slept early to wake-up early for the Board Meeting. As usual got-up mid night and was in no mood to work and my brain was full time thinking about the ways to improve the productivity in the organization and ways to improve the sales.

By the time it was early in the morning and I thought i need a short nap to stay fresh for the meeting. But I slept long that I got up only by 11:15 AM & the meeting was by 11 AM… Other two directors made up on time and I had to call them and I made it to meeting by 12:30 noon with a awkward smile. My other directors were lenient enough to forgive me.

Then we started the meeting and we had effective meetings and many decisions were taken. Now it is time to work on the decisions and implement them quickly.

After the meeting it was time to call everyone who kept calling me form the morning.  After that decided to go for a Video Blog which i was planning to do it for long time. I pinged my fellow CEO at Contus Support Interactive & he was generous enough to install the plugin immediately. For now i don’t have time to test it. Probably I might do it from Ndot.in tomorrow.

Now it is time to get back home, pack my bags and proceed to board my bus as there is only 2 hours left from now.

Wish me Happy Journey!!!!!

Feeling Guilty & Confused….


Every human has a lot of dreams when it comes to their professional & personal life. Always we there is a problem in balancing between personal & professional life balance. As a big dreamer I’ve strongly decided to run behind my dream. Last 10 years I’ve not spent much time with my parents & sister. Though I feel guilty at times I’ve not felt that bad as I’ve spent almost 2 decades with them.

But new entering a new phase in my life where I’ve to share my life with a better half. It has been 2 weeks since I’ve attended calls or called back the special person. Also not sure if I can for next month or so.

For the first time I’m feeling guilty. When I shared this with my closed ones I was asked to balance my personal life. But people who are professionally connected to me know the responsibility I carry and the difficulty I’ve in balancing time.

I’m trying to meet very successful people who have made it big from Rags and want to know if they are really successful in balancing personal & professional life. How did they balance in their early stage when they were in their pursuit of becoming successful.

From Zero to Thirty


When every i come across places, people or situation it takes me back to the memory lane and these days it is happening too often… So i wanted to see how good i remember things that happened all these years year wise;

1980 : Couldn’t remember much. But it is a special year because that was the year i was born.

1981 : Couldn’t remember anything.

1982 : Vaguely remember walking with my grandpa’s & running round my granny’s house.

1983 : Remember vaguely about the beginning of my schooling & how my mom use to pick me after school hours.

1984 : Same like 1983. But I lost my Father’s father. I lost him at a very young age but I was his favorite. Miss him a lot.

1985 : This time i remember i was in class I and i was changed school after a 3 months in my old school. As a kid it was a the first time i was made to adapt change where culture, people & process everything were different. Since was too small I quickly adapted to the change.

1986 : A very special year. I got a cute little sister who has been my strength till days. We moved to our own house far from my school. Enjoyed going gardening with my mother. My Father use to drop me in school in the morning & my Mom’s father use to pick and drop me from school.

1987 : Lost my Mom’s father. We had to come back to grandma’s home to be with her. Again it was back to the place where I was born.

1988 : Came back to our house at Porur. Again my father use to drop me in school & his colleague will pick me from school. I leave home by 7.30 AM & come back home by 5.30 PM. Too much of a kill for a 8 year old.

1989 : Changed school which is less than a kilo-meter from my house. Got a class mate who was my neighbor Mr.Balaji & I was at cloud 9 as I’ve always studied is school where I didn’t have a class mate to access. In my old school mates use to meet and play at each others home during weekends and my chance came only during this Year.

1990 : Changed another school & I owe full credits to this school for what I’m today A.V.Meiyappan Matriculation Higher Secondary School. My responsibility started here. Use to take my sister for lunch & bring her back to home from School. For the first time I was exposed to football.

1991 : Started a Cricket team in my area.

1992 : Started becoming independent as I started visiting friends who are far from my house. This is the time where studies have started to become a burden on me.

1993 : My father went abroad and started getting lots of new gadgets. Use to play more & yell at studies. Golden year in my sporing career was a de-facto brand for my school. The year marked the beginning lying parents & going to movies with friends.

1994 : Failed in class IX in spite of excelling in sports. That marked the end of my short sporting career. Had to switch school in order to save a year and joined class X. This year was very special because I studied in a school for 3 months and again changed school. This time was the the beginning of golden period in my life. I was the Don in the making & my dream then was to become a big Don. Bunked school to watch movies & stole money from home to watch movies.

1995 : Somehow passed my SSLC (Class X) & rejoined my favorite school AVM. This period was full of studies.

1996 : Again studies was my priority.

1997 : Joined college. Again the start of my second golden period. Went to Bangalore for the first time. For the first time saw girls smoking, roaming with guys & sew a lot o girls drinking. Climate was awesome. Loved this place & even thought of settling there those days.

1998 : Golden period at the peak. Exposed to internet & didn’t realize that this is going change my life for ever. Visiting Bangalore was a routine. My familiarity with Bangalore was mainly because of roaming with my fathers colleagues those days.

1999 : Continued with my golden period. For the first time started doing my own petty jobs.

2000 : College life ended. Started my first Company.

2001 : Struggled & cracked the way to hunt for projects.

2002 : Special year because Business grew, Moved to own office & was the golden period of my Entrepreneur days.

2003 : Start of getting exposed to People problem & for the first time started facing turbulence.

2004 : Attrition was at its peak. Took some gamble of moving to a Cozy office by over-stepping. The move clicked. Got a good friend Mr.Major Karthik (Who has been my strength till date.).

2005 : Beginning of bringing structure into the company. Got a special companion who & was flying high.

2006 : Joined MBA @ Great Lakes Institute of Management & I consider this to the the best choice & investment (I paid my fee for the first time) i’ve ever made. GLIM gave me enlightenment & gave me lot of answers. I transformed from a Blind Entrepreneur to an Entrepreneur with Vision.

2007 : Good business, Good Friends, a Companion and I thought life was settled.

2008 : The year of biggest Turbulence. One fine day I lose most of the thing which made me think I was settled. That is when I came to know True & Fake friends. Major Karthik, Balaji & Bala Murugan were people who Stood by me during those days. Today I’m thankful to god because i felt i was a failure & my life has come to an end. Today i realize with all these friends i can conquer the world. Started Cogzidel this year.

2009 : Developed new hobbies & experimented things I wanted to do. Life has become more meaningful. Got a lot of new friends who filled the Gap for the lost ones.

2010 : I turned 30. Can’t think how days have ran like a jiffy. Particularly from 1994 – 2010. Everything looks like it happened yesterday & it looks like it all ran within minutes.

Over all I must thank God for giving me good & bad experience witch all made me only strong. When I look back all bad / sad situation stood for a better / good future. Let me run couple of more years and will share my new experience and let this blog be a document for my future reference to enrich my mind with the memories of past.